I don’t care how comfortable you may claim to be in your skin, we are all self-conscious in this world. Some of us undoubtedly far more than others, but we all care to some extent about how we are perceived by those we both do and don’t know.
If you really believe yourself to be the outlier in this experience, buy yourself a lottery ticket because you’ve somehow managed to remain genuinely ignorant to the bevy of criticism that has been thrown your way.
But I’m willing to bet that you too have been affected by the less than favorable opinion of another. You’ve just built an outward persona where you claim to be YOU always, which in my opinion is one of the most self-conscious acts one could ever carry out.
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Assuming that we’ve now come to terms with the fact that we are all self-conscious, I’d like to move on to helping you change the way that people look at you. And not so that you’ll be able to attract anything and anyone. But rather so that you can stop letting your mind destroy the beautiful gift that we’ve all been given… our uniqueness.
So how do you change the way that people look at you? By realizing that we live in a world where we are pretty well all concerned with how others perceive us. And because of that we are all (again for the most part) far too preoccupied with how others are perceiving us to give much –if any –attention to the process of judging others ESPECIALLY for an extended period of time.
Of course the nature of social media and the “safety” and sometimes anonymity it offers has made the vocalization of criticism more prevalent, but it still doesn’t add up to what your mind has concocted. The automatic and now heavily programmed nature of your mind makes you believe that every action you take is heavily scrutinized, while in reality very few are. What makes them seem like they are is more often than not the trauma that is attached to the few occurrences where it seemed to have taken place.
(Warning: I'm going to be talking to myself here for a couple of sentences)
Sure, you may have been told you’re not alpha male enough to ever get cast in a lead role, and sure you may have been called out by a number of your peers for publicly supporting some unpopular opinions but that doesn’t mean you’re ugly, uncastable, or an idiot that is of best service to society when you shut up and stop trying.
We are the ones that decide to turn these moments of criticism into beliefs that ultimately change the way we present ourselves and how people look at us. We do it by replaying and overthinking these “key moments” in our life to date that have contributed the most to our level of self-consciousness. An obsession that has blown their impact on us out of proportion, usually to the point where we now live in fear that any future action that doesn’t overtly abide by the popular status quo has the same potential to trigger another unpleasant experience.
It’s not strictly because of this, but it’s certainly a key player in why so many of us find ourselves buying into trends that a few years later we either regret or laugh at.
So rather than putting all decisions not made in the comfort of your home through the filter of social acceptance, change the way people look at you for good by being yourself and trusting that it will change the way that the most important people to you look at you forever.
For more brutally honest personal development content designed for those who actually want to change be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel and to follow me on Instagram. And to receive my free eBook on 5 Simple Daily Hacks For A Genuinely Happier Life and to be one of the first to find out about the release of my upcoming book click HERE.
Article featured image by Wendy Wei from Pexels.