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6 Ways To Make Love To Your Partner (Without Having Sex)

I'm sure I don't need to remind most of you of the joys of having sex. Whether you've formed your opinion from firsthand experience or have been heavily impacted by the media and pop culture's obsession with it, sex (and thoughts about sex) seems to be a staple in most of our lives.

But what about making love?

To some of us, it implies a more connective form of sexual intimacy, where those involved are actively seeking a deeper bonding experience, while to others, it's just another way to say sex, no more meaningful than "hanky panky."

But viewed from the former perspective, making love certainly sounds like a desirable experience that most partners would seek to have regularly. But is that level of intimacy restricted to those "perfect" moments between the sheets?

Here are 6 other ways that I believe we can all "make love" with our partner regularly:

1. Work Together

This may sound completely unrealistic at first. Finding a partner to share your life with is challenging enough, so what are the chances that the one we do eventually find will work in the same field that we do?

They don't have to. Working together could constitute any ongoing project that you are collaborating on for collective success. It could be something as simple as planting and maintaining a garden together, or it could be as involved as taking a secondary job together to supplement your income.

The process of coming together to accomplish something or provide for your family or partnership could not only be rewarding, it could also deepen the romantic bonds you already have.

2. Personally Develop Together

We all know that we are consistently growing in life. While life naturally provides us all with learning experiences, many of us also actively seek ways to empower and better ourselves.

Rather than engaging with self-help or personal development material on your own, why not make it a collaborative experience with your partner?

I recently listened to Your Wish Is Your Command with my girlfriend and was pleasantly surprised by how connective the experience was. We both held each other accountable for the tasks the material posed to us, and have had several connective conversations since, all centred around our personal takeaways from it. If that's not a form of lovemaking, I don't know what is.

3. Share Hobbies Together

We all have different interests, and chances are, there are several we boast that our partner couldn't care less about — and vice versa. While keeping individual interests makes for a healthy relationship, sharing those interests and getting involved can also deepen your connection and offer insight into the other person.

Perhaps you love playing softball, creating pottery, and practicing the violin. Find an introductory level version of one of them for your partner to dabble in with you, in exchange for you doing the same with one of theirs. It might just turn into something fun you can do together.

4. Work Out Together

Along the same lines as number two, there is something particularly connective about activities designed to better our well-being. Rather than hitting the gym or going for an evening jog alone, why not include your partner?

Even if you don't do the same specific workouts, there is a new level of internal motivation to be experienced when someone you love is doing it alongside you. Want to find ways to make at least some of the exercises into ones you could do together? Explore resources such as Couples Workout: Train Together, Stay Together for some great ideas.

5. Be Grateful Together

Inspired by a recommended exercise I read in the Tony Robbins book Awaken the Giant Within: How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny, I've recently started beginning and ending each day by listing a minimum of ten things I am grateful for, such as:

  • I am thankful for my beautiful niece who makes me smile and reminds me of the simplicity of life.

  • I am thankful to be alive and healthy.

  • I am thankful to be knowledgeable of and to be capable of providing my body with the nourishment it needs.

What better a way to lovingly connect with your partner than to challenge each other to do this together at least once per day? Not only will it be a loving experience rooted in sharing, but it will also root your energetic perspective into the positive.

6. Try New Things Together

One incredible way to grow closer and share a loving experience with your partner is to do something that neither of you has done before. Your collective uncertainty will force you to come together in the experience and possibly even discover something new that you both enjoy.


Even if what you experience by doing any of these is not "making love" by your standards, it's likely that at least some of them will help you create more of those traditional lovemaking moments (wink wink).

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